Complex Kisses (Here & Now Book 1) Page 13

  And it does. Unable to maintain contact with our mouths, Jamie’s head falls back to my shoulder as she screams her release. She’s loud and animalistic. I love the way she sounds. Love knowing that I’ve taken her there. Love feeling her pulse around my cock. Love the way her whole body spasms as she falls apart in my arms. It doesn’t take much more to push me over the edge with her, but before I go, I pull out of her quickly, pushing her to her stomach and ripping the condom off, so I can decorate her amazing fucking ass with my come.

  “Holy shit,” I say, bending down to kiss the side of her face. “I’m sorry, I couldn’t help myself. Don’t move, I’ll clean you up.”

  When I return with a warm, wet cloth front the bathroom, Jamie’s giggling.

  “What’s so funny?”

  “Oh my god, Eric. I think we woke up the whole hotel. It’s only five-thirty in the morning, and you had me screaming like the place was on fire.”

  “Are you sure we didn’t set it on fire? It’s still pretty warm in here,” I laugh back at her.

  This fun-loving, playful version of Jamie is the one I like best. Her heavy heart and sadness are understandable and beautiful in their own ways, but I love seeing her smile, seeing the light in her eyes. And the witty sarcasm that comes out of her mouth makes me feel like life with her would be a fun place - a place I might like to be.

  Shit. There’s a thought I shouldn’t be re-examining any time soon. This day-to-day living that I’ve been doing doesn’t leave much room for thoughts of the future. I haven’t wanted to think about where I go next or what will happen after Caleb’s procedure. It’s an overwhelming prospect to figure out what my next step will be. That hasn’t stopped me from wanting Jamie, though. I want her here with me now. And I’m guessing, the way I feel about her, I’m going to want her here with me tomorrow too. Maybe even the next day, and probably the day after that.

  I wasn’t expecting this. I wasn’t expecting her.

  It seems like design, or destiny, or what-the-hell-ever, started making plans for me, the minute I stopped making them for myself.

  After washing off her back, I lean down to trail light kisses up her shoulders and neck. Jamie rolls to her back, grabbing me around the neck, pulling me down to kiss her mouth. Soft, slow, warm, and deep. Kissing her makes me feel like everything’s going to be all right. All my fantasies of moving beyond today can be real. Jamie was put in my path for a reason.

  Am I a romantic?

  I guess maybe I am, and just never knew it.

  “I’m sorry about the condom,” I apologize. “I’ve always used one, and I still can’t believe I almost forgot.”

  “Not at all. I was right there with you. I guess we both lost our heads a little.”

  “I didn’t want to make a big deal out of it. But it’s a serious thing for me. I’m clean, and I trust you, but I just can’t take any chances.”

  “No, of course. I don’t blame you. But just so you know, I’m clean, and ever since Hunter, I’ve been especially careful with birth control. That kid was just meant to be. I won’t give you the gory details, but there was an issue with proper condom use when Hunter was conceived.”

  “Thanks. But I don’t want you to think this is all about trust. It’s not.”

  “Okay,” she says, reaching up to stroke my arm, still braced over her prone body, “It’s okay. I do trust you.”

  Trusting someone you’ve known for less than a week, especially with something so significant, should be a really scary decision, but it sounds easy coming out of her mouth. It astounds me that she’s so willing to believe in me, considering the men in her life haven’t always been so trustworthy. Having her implicit trust handed to me, feels momentous. It feels gratifying. It feels all sorts of other strange and confusing things that I don’t have the brain power to analyze right after sex.

  “I trust you too, beautiful girl. Now, do you want to try to go back to sleep for a few hours?” I ask, cradling her face in my hands.

  “No.”

  “Do you want to go find a place for breakfast then?”

  “No,” she sighs happily, “I just want to spend a few more hours here, with you. Like this.”

  “Escaping reality for a little while?” Isn’t that what this has been all about? Distraction at its highest form?

  “Maybe. I don’t know. I just like the way you make me feel.” A lustful smile grows on her beautiful face. “And I like the way I can make you feel too.”

  “Really? This sounds promising. Tell me more,” I tease.

  Pushing on my chest, she rolls me to my back, and straddles my waist. Demanding, in charge Jamie is back, and she’s got me half-way hard again, already.

  “I want to ride you like this, until I come again,” she purrs, squeezing me between her thighs. “Then I want to suck you, so you can come on my tits. And it’s going to feel amazing. How does that sound?”

  “Like I’ve died and gone to heaven. But I want to make another deal with you.”

  “What is it?” Her voice is husky and alluring. “What do you need?” I love that she knows it’s something I need, not just something I want.

  “I’ll let you ride me, and suck me, and I’ll come wherever you want. But the deal is, first I need you to get up here and sit on my face. I’m going to lick your pussy ‘til you scream some more. We’ll wake up anyone who’s still asleep. How does that sound to you?” I challenge.

  “Sounds like a good deal.” Her smile is wide and feral as she starts wiggling her way up to where I want her. Where I need her.

  When I finally get my mouth on her, all my earlier thoughts are confirmed. She’s like honey - the sweetest thing I’ve ever tasted. I can’t get enough. I feast on her, like she’s my last meal. Fucking her with my tongue. Devouring her until her legs shake.

  When she comes, it’s so hard that her legs lock around my head, her whole body quaking in aftershocks. And she does it screaming my name.

  Now everyone we’ve woken knows the name of the man responsible.

  * * *

  Playing hooky has never felt so good. It shouldn’t feel this natural and carefree, not when the obligations we’re hiding from are literally life or death. But Eric makes it easy to forget that there’s a pile of crap waiting outside of these four walls. Actually we haven’t even left the bed, so I don’t know what might be waiting on the other side of the room. It doesn’t matter. Right now, laying here intertwined with each other, after two rounds of literally the best sex on earth, all I care about it the bliss that’s washed over me. I feel so abundantly euphoric it’s like no bad thoughts or feelings can penetrate my intoxication. I’ve been waiting for the discomfort to hit me, expecting that at any moment I might become the awkward, bumbling mess that I’ve known myself to be theses past four days. But so far, my comfort level with Eric has only grown.

  This bliss can’t last forever, though. I know that not only do we need to get moving out of this bed, out of this hotel room, but eventually I’ll have to get moving on with my life as well. How many more hours can I squeeze in here? Maybe we can devote the entire day to forgetting about our worries and spend the time having sex instead. The ache between my legs should have me feeling fully sated, but despite my current state of contentment, there’s an edge creeping up. A need that will build again. Just feeling Eric shift his gorgeous body next to me is enough to start working me up.

  Things with him are so different. I’ve never felt hungrier or more restless. I’ve never wanted to consume a man the way I want to consume Eric. It’s like a burning in my veins. If this is anything how a junkie feels, then I can understand their compulsion. Maybe this is just what happens when I go without sex for so damn long. Or maybe this is just what happens after being with him – experiencing sex the way I think it’s meant to be. Exciting. Fulfilling.

  Eric laughs loudly at me when my stomach makes a noisy complaint about its emptiness. Food may be the only motivation strong enough to get me moving out of this bed.


  “Sounds like it’s time to feed you again,” Eric teases, snaking an arm around my waist, pulling me flush against him. He kisses me softly, the smile still stretched across his lips. “I’m hungry too. I’m surprised my stomach’s not joining yours in chorus.”

  Kissing him back, my leg somehow finds its way over his hip, wrapping easily around him. Breaking our kiss, I tell him, “If I had to choose between food or sex, I think I would gladly starve to death.”

  “Just sex, in general?” He digs, his hand trailing down over the curve of my ass.

  “Well, sex in general is nice, but ice cream’s usually going to win that battle. No, I was talking about sex with you. In that case, Rocky Road doesn’t stand a chance.”

  Eric’s grin is the big, bright, dimple filled beauty that I absolutely adore. This smile makes his green eyes sparkle. I’m addicted to this smile. It does something to me. Something more than just making my lady parts happy.

  Clutching me in his firm hold, Eric rolls me to my back, settling between my legs. He’s hard again. Dear lord, thank you. As much as I love his smile, I am in equal adoration of his cock, and the many wonderful ways in which he can use it.

  “Luckily, no one’s forcing that kind of horrible, life or death decision on us,” Eric rumbles, as he masterfully finds one of the condoms, under the pillow, putting it on smoothly, before slowly inching his way inside of me.

  With a sigh of satisfaction, my body relaxes. This physical connection, like a hit of the most powerful drug, sates my need.

  Groaning in my ear, Eric sounds like he’s on the same high, “You feel so fucking good, Jamie.”

  There’s no urgency in our movements, not like before. Even the first time, when Eric took me slowly, he did it with a barely restrained vibrating urgency. This time, everything feels relaxed, like we have all the time in the world to simply savor the amazing way our bodies fit so perfectly together.

  “You feel good too. You feel amazing.”

  “Let’s never leave this bed. Let’s just do this forever.”

  Shit. Even though similar thoughts were rolling through my own mind only moments ago, it’s jolting to hear it vocalized. Forever is such a big scary, ridiculously impossible word. Nothing in my life has ever lead me to believe that anything can last that long. Not that Eric has wedding bells or any other happily-ever-after scenario in mind, but just hearing the word come from his mouth is enough of a reminder that this thing between us will end. It will end soon. And I’m not at all ready for that.

  It’s not just about the sex either. I really like Eric. I like the way he makes me feel but I also like the way he makes me think. My perspective on things here with my dad and Dylan, even my entire life with Hunter, have taken on a new shade of grey. He, alone, isn’t a magic solution to any of my problems. But I do feel like he’s given me some kind of power – an ability to start truly facing some of my issues, instead of just lying to myself and avoiding them.

  Maybe he realizes what he’s said, he’s searching my eyes like he’s waiting for a response. Like he’s waiting for me to freak out. Like he’s expecting me to run away.

  “I don’t know about forever. But we’ve got today,” I urge, using my legs to pull him further into me, moaning as he twists his hips, hitting me extra deep.

  “Fucking right we do,” he says, increasing his speed, thrusting into me with renewed vigor. “We better make good use of the time.”

  The spark of urgency is reignited, quickly fanning what started as slow burning embers, into a bonfire of frenzied fucking. It’s desperate and wild. Like neither of us can get enough of the other. As much as I want to draw it out, make it last, I can’t help but chase my release. How could I ever control myself, when every time Eric pounds into me, he hits my G-spot with such adept precision? It’s like telling myself I’m not going to eat the whole tub of ice cream, when I don’t bother getting a bowl. You know that shit’s unavoidable. So is the incredible orgasm that rips through my body. I can’t help but scream when I come.

  “Fuck, yes!” Eric shouts as he quickly follows, coming deep inside of me.

  A slamming door and angry arguing in the hallway remind me that we’re not alone in this hotel. Our little bubble of post-orgasmic rapture is popped as the arguing couple walk past our door, seeming to pause right outside, as their exchange escalates.

  “I don’t want to hear any more of your excuses, Rick.” I hear the woman’s muffled yell. “There’s always an excuse!”

  “Kitten, you know it’s not just an excuse. I didn’t get any sleep, what do you expect?” The man defends in a quieter, sulky tone.

  “Once! Just once! I expect something other than disappointment. I want you to make me scream like the chick we heard getting her brains banged out this morning! You’ve never done that for me! She gets it three times in one goddamn day! Me, not once!” She swears before storming off loudly down the hall.

  I feel a bit bad for poor Rick, as he lingers in the hallway, mumbling to himself about sleepless nights, men who use Viagra, and wives who’ve watched too many chick-flicks. In my head, I picture him ready to knock on the door and either yell at Eric for making him look bad or ask for pointers. But after a moment he moves on, with what sounds like an angry, “Thanks a lot, asshole,” spoken at our door.

  “Oh my god, did that actually just happen?” I laugh hysterically. “We’re getting kicked out of here for sure!”

  Eric is laughing so hard, he’s holding his side in pain, but manages to wheeze out, “Poor bastard. I almost feel guilty for making him look bad.”

  “You make every man look bad,” I say as sincerely as I can, between laughs.

  “If you keep saying shit like that, Jamie, I’m going to have no choice but to throw you down and prove it to you all over again.”

  “What? It’s a compliment, Eric. What on earth do you think you have left to prove?”

  “I’m a man, beautiful. I’m always in competition with someone. You handing me that kind of ego boost drives me to want to out-do myself.”

  “Well, save it for later,” I laugh, finally dragging myself off the mattress. “You completely wore me out. I’m going to be feeling it for the next week. I can barely move already.”

  “Where are you going?” He asks, sounding almost worried.

  “I need a shower. I plan to be fully clothed when the manager comes knocking on our door. Besides, you promised me breakfast.”

  “I did?”

  “Well, it was implied. And unless you plan on going naked, I suggest you hop in the shower with me.”

  Eric seems as physically worn down from our early morning sexcapades as I am. His comments about proving himself, quickly forgotten once the heat of the shower spray hits his back. We shower leisurely, not really worrying about who may or may not be complaining about our early morning wake-up call. I’m not worrying about much of anything, actually.

  After three rounds of sex, two showers, and one night of naked sleeping, I’m feeling almost like my normal self. I can’t forget the problems waiting for me but I feel more prepared than ever to face them.

  The only thing missing to make this a perfect start to my day are coffee and Hunter’s smiling face. I still miss him like crazy but my neurotic, panicked worry over his well-being has faded to a normal level of parental concern. There’s no reason for me to be so worked up over our separation. People send their kids to camp for entire summers. My separation anxiety is more a product of our unusual circumstance. And, I’m starting to realize, as much as Hunter is dependent on me, I’ve become dependent on him as well. It’s normal for a kid to rely on their parent. That’s the natural order of things. What’s not normal, is me being so reliant on him for my happiness. I’ve made Hunter the sole focus of my entire existence. His happiness is my own.

  What will happen in a few years from now, when he becomes a teenager and realizes that his mom’s not the coolest person after all? What happens if he chooses baseball over woodworking? His friendships will tr
ump his devotion to me and I’ll be left spending my evenings watching reruns of Gilmore Girls, crying into my afghan.

  Spending time with Eric may have given my conscience a workout but I think doing something for me, paying attention to my own needs for once, may actually be a good thing. Like taking care of myself can make me a better parent somehow.

  Undoubtedly, this is all Eric’s influence. He’s insisted on helping, forced me to give up some responsibility, encouraged me to put myself first. It’s not just the phenomenal sex that has me re-examining things – it’s Eric’s selfless perspective, and his words of reassurance. The sex may have just helped me loosen up enough to let his words sink in.

  After a restorative shower, Eric and I go about cleaning up the room and packing the few things I have lying around. We complete the task in total silence. It’s odd, but somehow we just know what comes next. I don’t need to ask him to check the bathroom for my razor, he grabs it and the toothpaste I left behind. I peek under the bed while he checks the bedside table. In no time, we’re ready to leave. Maybe I’m being melodramatic, but somehow moving beyond this room feels like taking the next step - a step forward.

  When we get on the elevator, Eric takes my hand, silently leading me toward whatever my future may hold. And hopefully breakfast – I’m starving.

  * * *

  Miraculously, we get Jamie checked out of the hotel without a single complaint being issued. The girl at the desk gives me a weird look that I can’t figure out. But I also don’t care enough to try. Paying attention to anything, besides Jamie, seems pointless. Every word that comes out of her mouth, every smile, every frown, every squint of an eye or quirk of a lip has me fascinated. I am completely obsessed with her. Even after spending the morning screwing her six ways to Sunday, or maybe even more so because of it.

  “Well that was awkward,” Jamie sneers as we head out from the hotel in search of breakfast. Leaving her bags locked in the trunk of her car, we’ve decided to walk to a nearby café that Jamie insists has the best coffee around.