Complex Kisses (Here & Now Book 1) Read online

  A little girl, about five years old, with her hands on her hips, stares disapprovingly at us.

  If I wasn’t already flushed from the excitement, I’d probably blush from embarrassment. “Well, hello there! My goodness, you scared me,” I tell her.

  Eric, holding my leg up over his lap with one hand, his other arm still wrapped securely around my waist, laughs silently beside me.

  “You said a swear!” The little girl scolds again, pointing at Eric. “I heard you!”

  “Me? I would never!” Eric answers innocently.

  Competing in a battle of silent wills, the two of them stare each other down, while I look around for another adult. Where did this little hellion come from?

  “You did. The big one. The one that starts with a F. My mommy told me it’s not a nice word and you shouldn’t never say it.” Such seriousness from such a little creature.

  “Your mommy sounds very smart,” I sweet-talk her, “Is she here with you?”

  “Nope. Mommy’s at home with my new brother, Benjamin. Daddy’s carrying Bella up the mountain. I told him I was the fastest. I am!”

  “You’re quick, alright,” Eric laughs in a quiet mumble that only I can hear.

  “Cara!” A man’s voice booms as a tall figure steps up to the lookout tower. “I told you to stay with me!”

  He sounds angry, relieved and completely winded. He also looks exhausted, probably from chasing this kid up the hill, while hauling a hefty, squirming toddler in his arms. When he realizes that his daughter isn’t alone, his demeanor changes slightly.

  “Come here Cara, leave the people alone.” A disapproving glare gets flashed our way. I’m guessing he isn’t a fan of our obvious public display of affection. But, in our defense, we had been alone until his kid decided to be a total cock-blocker.

  “But daddy …” She starts.

  While at the same time I say, “It’s okay.”

  The man looks sternly at his daughter, then sternly at us.

  “Perhaps the two of you could go somewhere else to enjoy the birds and bees? I’m sure you could find a better place for all that.” His free hand, motioning in a semi-circle at our intertwined lower halves.

  Taking this as a really good cue to leave, I quickly stand. Grabbing Eric’s hand, I pull him along with me.

  “Daddy, I don’t see the bees …” Cara wines.

  Eric’s laugh is so abrupt and loud - I can’t help but breakdown into a giggle fit of my own.

  The man just stares at us, his face a mix of disdain and annoyance, with maybe just a tiny hint of jealousy.

  “Thank you! Goodbye!” I yell.

  Eric and I take off, jogging down the hill, holding hands and laughing like lunatics the entire way.

  * * *

  By the time we make it back to the waterfall, I’m completely breathless. Physical exertion isn’t the problem. It’s all the crazy laughter that has me sucking air. Jamie kept making jokes the entire way through the woods. Lots of dirty jokes. Fuckin’ A. This girl has a wicked good sense of humor.

  And she isn’t taken. No boyfriend. I don’t need to worry about stepping on some other man’s ground.

  The relief I feel at knowing Jamie and I are free to possibly work out some of this sexual tension - it feels like I’ve just been handed the keys to an expensive sports car. I can’t wait to take her out for a drive.

  And by drive, I mean sex. Me. Jamie. Hot sweaty, naked fun.

  Preferably more than once.

  “And I just have to know …” She laughs out, as we stand beside the rushing water, catching our breath. “Were you holding my leg up, over your lap to hide your erection?”

  “It wasn’t obvious, was it?”

  “Well I definitely noticed. Maybe Cara’s dad had an idea too … not sure if that look on his face was his disapproval or his insane amount of jealousy.”

  “You think he was jealous of my poorly timed wood?”

  “Ohm’god, you brought your own wood to the woods.” She cracks up laughing again, making me laugh along with her. “No, seriously though. He was definitely jealous. You should take out a billboard or something - you’ve got a lot to be proud of there.” She hits me with a sly, dirty little smile and winks.

  Did she just compliment my dick?

  She hasn’t even seen it in action. Yet. Unable to properly respond I simply stare at her, my mouth hanging open, panting like a dog in heat.

  “I thought I was going to die of embarrassment at first.” She rushes on, “I’ve never been caught like that. But, it was kind of exciting, wasn’t it?”

  Oh hell, Jamie has a naughty side. It’s not something I was expecting from her but I’m certainly not the kind of guy to complain when handed a gift.

  Stepping toward her, I grab her waist, pulling her flush to me, plastering our bodies to each other. “You liked that, beautiful girl? Did getting caught turn you on?” I growl into her ear as I allow my hand to move down over her ass, squeezing and pulling her into me, highlighting my showcase-worthy erection.

  “Yes.” She lets out in a breathy sigh.

  Her face and neck are covered in that pretty blush again, revealing the fact that she’s turned on. She’s so indescribably gorgeous - a goddamn work of art - and it doesn’t escape me that she looks this way partly because of me.

  Her lips, like lush magnets, draw me in. I can’t resist them. Even if I wanted to I couldn’t. But I don’t want to even think about resisting. I move my mouth to cover hers, caressing her with my lips and then with my tongue. I want to devour her but hold back, knowing that I won’t be able to stop once I start. This kiss is languid and soft, just a sip to keep my thirst at bay.

  Barely able to suppress my need for her, I pull away, smiling down at her. Jamie still has her eyes closed, looking dazed and intoxicated. She’s beyond beautiful. I can understand why Dylan returned to her again, and again. How could any man turn this girl down? Even if your heart was being battered, just a taste of her is worth it.

  “I have a lot of memories of this place, but I think this one’s going to be the second best memory of them all.” She hums, still in thrall.

  “Second best?” I bark, maybe a little too loudly, completely breaking the spell.

  With her eyes flying open, Jamie looks to me like she just let out a secret she’d never intended to slip.

  Eyes still wide, shaking her head, she’s obviously looking for a way to back out of what she just said. But I’m not going to let that slide. I have to know. “Too late, beautiful. No more pretending, remember? You have to give me the story now … It’s part of our deal.”

  “Our deal?”

  “Of course. You tell me your secret, and I’ll share one of mine. Do you want me to go first?”

  “No. Shit! No. It’s kind of a silly story, but it feels deeply private. I’ve never told anyone about it before, Eric.”

  “A deal is a deal, Jamie,” I say, injecting some humor.

  “A deal is a deal, Eric,” she says back, with a hint of sarcastic anger.

  Maybe she’s pissed at herself for opening up, or maybe she’s angry at me for forcing her to tell me things I have no business knowing, either way I feel like I may need to do some groveling once she’s done. But I want to know - no, I need to know - absolutely everything about her.

  “Fine,” she sighs in resignation, “When I was just a little girl. I came up here with my family. I wasn’t much older than Cara, the language patrol kid. Seriously … how did her parents ever manage to create two more with her around?”

  I chuckle at her joke, but otherwise maintain my silence, not allowing her to change the topic.

  Defeated, she scowls hard at me before starting her story. “I was playing. Lost in my own little world, not paying attention to anyone or anything around me. I was a slowpoke - kept trailing farther and farther behind my family. My mom was getting really agitated with me, but she was also busy dealing with my sister’s drama of not having the right shoes for hiking - they weren
’t pink enough or something …”

  I listen intently as Jamie goes on a tangent, describing her mother and sister and their relationship with loving detail. They sound like a typical family, bickering over footwear and how long the hike was going to be. I can hear in every word just how much Jamie misses them.

  “Anyway,” she continues, “That day, my mom was fed up. She stopped paying attention to me. My father – always the leader of our pack – was way up front and wasn’t paying attention to any of us.” Her voice trails off, lost in her retelling. Reaching out to her, I do what’s become second nature to me – I take her hand in my own, lending her as much strength as I can through the simple touch. “None of them realized that I’d fallen so far behind.” Her frown intensifies. “I didn’t even know it at first. It wasn’t until I realized that I couldn’t hear my sister’s incessant whining, or my mother’s annoyed yelling that I knew I was lost.

  “I got extremely anxious at first, panicked when I couldn’t immediately find them.”

  When she pauses again, I prompt her, “Your best memory of this place is getting lost here as a kid?” It’s confusing and a bit of a blow to the ego. How is being lost in a forest better than making out with me?

  “That’s not the whole story. The part that makes it good, is what happened after I got lost. I was only scared for a moment, just the initial shock. But that feeling didn’t last. The thing I remember most about that day was that I wasn’t afraid. I wasn’t afraid because I remembered what my dad had taught me. I believed that if I did what he’d told me, I would be fine.

  “So, I stayed in one spot and waited until he found me. I sat and played princess of the forest and when he showed up at my stone throne he was my gallant knight coming to save the day. It’s my favorite memory of this place because my dad was my hero that day.”

  Sighing and smiling, she seems caught up again in the memory. I watch her, amazed by her beauty and the devotion she’s held for a man who she’s spent the last ten years avoiding. It’s obvious how much Jamie loves him, not just as a child, but even now. Even after what she had to run away from.

  “He taught me how to survive,” she says, her smile turning back to a frown. “But in real life, he was the thing I couldn’t survive. He found me that day. But I’m still lost. I got lost again after my mom and sister died. So did he. I think this time I was supposed to find him. I think I should have been the one to save him. But I ran away instead. I ran away and I feel like I’ve been lost ever since.”

  “You’re not lost, Jamie. You’ve just taken a detour. A very important detour.”

  She looks pensively at me for a while, as we simply stand, staring at each other.

  “Alright, well - I guess I owe you one of my secrets now, don’t I?” I try lightening the mood a bit.

  “Yes, I do believe a little secret telling is in order. Cough it up, big boy,” she teases, her sadness evaporating.

  Big boy. Nice. I can’t be positive of her reference, but it reminds me of a good story of my own. “That whole billboard idea of yours? Well, I didn’t exactly rent out space or anything, but my dick is already famous.”

  “What?” She laughs.

  “Yeah, my ex snapped a couple of dick pic’s of me and sent them around to all her girlfriends. She liked to show off. A lot. I guess she thought my cock was something she should brag about. Well, those photos got passed around and eventually ended up posted to some web site devoted to nude selfies. The woman who posted them thought it was hilarious.” I smile, wryly.

  I didn’t think it was hilarious then and I still don’t find it all that amusing now. I thought it was really disgusting that my girlfriend was so willing to break my trust and privacy by showing something intimate around to a bunch of strangers.

  “Oh my god, Eric! That’s horrible!” Jamie says, laughing, “Are they still there? Online?”

  “Yeah. Once something like that’s on the web, there’s really no way to get it back.”

  “Wow. And you didn’t know she’d taken the pictures?”

  “Sure, I knew. I just didn’t think they’d be leaving her hands. I sure as hell wasn’t expecting them to be posted for the whole world to see.”

  “Well, I can see why it would upset you. Just think of all the perverts who’ve gotten off to those pictures. Gross.” Her face, a cute exaggeration of disgust. “What website did you say that was? You know … in case I get bored later.”

  Her laughter is so damn infectious. I can’t help but go along with the joke. An adorably, dirty little joke.

  “You know you don’t need to go searching the internet for pictures. I’m right here. I can show you some things. No boredom required.”

  “Oh really?” She asks playfully, as she tugs on my shirt, pulling me back toward her.

  Hooking my arm around her neck, I graze her jaw with my teeth before whispering in her ear, “Just name the time and place, beautiful.”

  Giggling, Jamie pushes me away slightly. But when she looks up at me, her laughter quickly dies, her serious expression returning.

  “Eric, this thing with you and me ... I don’t know what this is. It doesn’t need to be anything major. I want you to know - I don’t have any expectations. I don’t even know what I want. But I did promise you no more pretenses …” She shrugs her shoulders, but then smiles seductively at me. “I like you Eric. I’d really like to fuck you. But I don’t know if it’s going to be anything more than that. I don’t know if it should be anything more than that. I have no idea what’s going to happen with me, or where I’m going from here. I really don’t know much of anything at all right now,” she sighs.

  “Jamie, you don’t need to know. I don’t know either.” Sucking in a big sigh of my own, I confide, “But I have a strange kind of faith that things will work out the way they’re meant to. And I think maybe we were meant to find each other. Here. Now. Even if it’s just for the moment. Even if we’re just a nice distraction for each other.”

  “How can you be sure of that?” She whispers.

  “I can’t really,” I answer, quietly. “But I’m sure the only thing we’re ever given is the moment we’re living in. No one knows what’s going to happen tomorrow. We can only make the best of what we’ve got in front of us today.” Taking her face in my hands I kiss her lightly on the lips before I search her eyes again, hoping to God that she feels just a little bit of what I’m saying. “You’re the best thing I’ve seen today Jamie. You’re the best fucking thing I’ve ever seen. I’d be an absolute fool to ignore that.”

  Pulling her back toward me, I capture her mouth in another heart-stopping kiss.

  This time I don’t hold back. This time I pour every single complicated feeling I have into kissing her. Her mouth is either going to be my death or my salvation - I haven’t decided yet. But I need more. I need so much more.

  Ending on an eager moan from Jamie and a pent up growl of my own, I have to practically push her away from me, before I just take her right there on the forest floor.

  Despite her earlier comment about the thrill of getting caught, I have the feeling that sex out in the open is not really on Jamie’s to do list and the look on her face hints that she may be having similar thoughts.

  Clearing my throat, and deftly adjusting myself, I look into her pale blue eyes. “I hope you don’t think I’m just going to let that other thing you said slide.”

  She looks questioningly at me, making a humming noise to indicate her confusion.

  “You think I didn’t catch that bit about wanting to fuck me?”

  “Oh!” She laughs, the blush lightly dusting her cheekbones again.

  “Honestly, that’s the only part I really heard. Everything else you said was just blah, blah, blah … so much talking.”

  “Who was talking? I only remember kissing.”

  Fuck, yes.

  * * *

  Eric seems surprised when, instead of leading him back toward his truck, I guide him off the trail, deeper into the tree
s. This forest and I are like old friends, I discovered most of its secrets long ago. Getting lost here, intentionally or not, is something I’ve done often.

  This time I know exactly where I’m going but I plan for Eric and I to get lost together, all the same.

  An old fallen tree is suspended against a large rock overhang, creating what looks like an entrance to a cave. It is in fact, not a cave - but a very unique, very secluded place. Not far from the waterfall, the rushing sound of water on rock can still be heard in the distance. Despite being only minutes away from the rest of humanity, it feels like we’re in a world of our own.

  Even the bravest of outdoor explorers don’t usually bother venturing from the path but Eric follows willingly as I step over roots and rocks, walking through the faux-doorway created by the tree.

  No matter how many times I’ve run away to this hidden spot, its beauty never fails to stun me. With a tall, slightly concave rock wall on one side and a cluster of evergreens on the other, the fallen tree creates something like a pocket room. Its only ceiling - the sky.

  As Eric squeezes in behind me, I realize just how small this space actually is. Or maybe it’s just that Eric’s so large. Having his company here, in this private nook, is more than a little overwhelming.

  “Is this your secret club house?” He teases.

  “Maybe. Why? Do you want to join my club?”

  “Hell yes, beautiful. That’s an offer no sane man would refuse. What’s the admission price?”

  “Why don’t you show me what you’ve got and I’ll let you know if it’s enough.”

  Even our cheesy one-liners don’t dampen the sexual tension.

  Hooking two fingers into the waistband of his jeans, I pull him closer, smoothly popping his button, making my intentions clear.

  When it comes to sex, I’ve always had a hidden boldness. I’m not aggressive - I certainly won’t chase a man - but if sex is on the table, I won’t hesitate to ask or just take what I want.

  Being this bold hasn’t always been to my advantage. In my limited experience, even though a guy might tell you he likes a woman to take the lead, some of them just can’t handle it. The devious look on Eric’s face hints that he’s all for it. But I have a feeling that with him, I won’t need to ask, or even show him what I want. Something tells me he’s going to read my body the way he’s read my mind. With ease.